big poops

I want a dog.
THIS dog.



The person I live with, Ape, is having a raving shit fit because "There's not room in
MY house for a dog!"
Not THAT dog in particular...any dog.
No room.
I didn't say it had to have it's own room....

I mean, I just don't get it.
After all the filthy, yapping, biting, tick infested strays he's brought here over the years (gifts from his mom!) expecting ME to take care of.....
He adopted a dachshund - a damned WEENIE DOG! - from the animal shelter last year.
I hate dachshunds. Can't stand them.
They're dumb as rocks.
They eat BABIES.
HUMAN babies.
http://cbs2chicago.com/local/dog.mutilates.genitals.2.490060.html

I wasn't asked if I wanted a dog.
I wasn't given a choice - just had a damn weenie dog thrown in my lap.
A stupid, child biting, run out the door and haul ass at every opportunity, pissing, shitting, un-house breakable, barking at everything that moves weenie dog.
For ME to take care of. Because HE is never here.
He didn't have to bathe Koni. He didn't walk her 50 times a day - while she strained on her leash, choking herself until she puked. Sniffing relentlessly for squirrel spore. Refusing to relieve herself no matter how long she was walked.
He didn't have to clean up the poop and pee that she deposited in the house after refusing to do so during her many many many looooong walks.
Of course she preferred to place these gifts in our bedroom closet or -her favorite - hidden amongst the toys in the kids' bedrooms.
Those being the only CARPETED rooms in the house.
This ensured that if the load wasn't found shortly after she hid it there, it would soon be stepped in and tracked all over the carpet. Yay!
Who had to crawl around on her knees scrubbing shit out of the carpets on a daily basis?
Hint: it wasn't him.
Who had to chase the pea brained idiot all over the neighborhood - at night, or in the rain, or in unsuitable clothing - every time she rocketed out the door and pretended like she didn't hear me calling her back or didn't realize that her name was Koni?....
Hint: it wasn't him.
Who had to cuddle and calm and dry the tears off the cheeks of the kids while bandaging their fingers for the hundredth time after the dog decided to have itself a nice nibble of human flesh?
Unprovoked. Just for the hell of it.
Because daschsunds are just plain mean!
http://hubpages.com/hub/Vicious-Dachshunds

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OwMPH5TAI-o

Koni no longer lives with us.
She's in Arkansas annoying the shit out of Ape's mother. Ha.
I promised our kiddos that if we got rid of Koni, we'd get another dog....
but it would have to be a large dog, with a large brain, that loves playing with kids,
and it would have to be housebroken on arrival.
I've found that dog.
Now suddenly Ape is a dog hater and doesn't want a dog at all.
(He likes chihuahua's. 'Cause his mommy has them.)